But, lingering on the bad is usually what will inevitably push us to be sad, lonely, and, well, become more of a failure than we were before. That's called a self-fulfilling prophecy by psychologists.
As we approach faith, though, I'm going to talk about someone (whose birthday is today) who has been one of the single greatest examples of faith in my entire life.
It's my Mom, Jennifer Ann Brown (Thompson). I love you, Mom :)
With that,
The List of Why My Mom Is Faith
Personified
10. Here's a picture of my Mom:
You'll notice that not only is my Mom super duper attractive, she is married to a debonair, suave man named my Dad. They are inseparable. Their relationship has helped me to decide what I want for my eventual marriage, and how to love and honor someone.
*Throughout this post, I will focus on my Mom (as it is her very special 30th birthday), but know that what I saw about her extends to my Dad, too.
In my last post, I talked about difficulties with relationships, and how that can seem like a failure. 'Tis not so for these two. Or, rather, they work through difficulties and don't stew on them.
They work together.
They teach their children.
They influence us, for better...or for rat face.
They are an incredible team, and it is defined by their faith. They wait on the Lord, and on each other...sometimes literally. I love my parents, and I know that their faith in God and in each other has carried us through times of physical separation (job hunts, callings, missions, etc.), financial burdens, and in rearing their crazy children's rears.
I cannot adequately thank them for their faith. But I can say, simply, thank you. I want to have faith like you do, especially with the person I will marry.
9. We learn in the scriptures that "faith, if it hath not works, is dead, being alone." Sometimes it's easy to feel reduced to doing nothing when we're tired or sore or hurt. Not my Mom - or at least, not in a way that is visible to others. She does stuff. She doesn't just wait around for things to happen.
I mentioned that my parents sometimes wait on each other. Let me illustrate this a little:
- 15 minutes before an event is to begin -
"Let's head out to the caaaar!"
(procession towards vehicle by the majority)
"Mom, are you coming?"
"Comiiing!"
- 5 minutes pass by -
"Honey, we're going to be late!"
"Just a minute!"
"...."
(shuffling of things from inside)
- 5 minutes pass -
"Dad, I'll go get Mom"
(grunt)
"Mom, are you coming?"
"Yes, sweety - just making sure the kitchen is clean/getting the _____ that we need/getting waterbottles, etc."
"Oh, ok."
(successful journey out to minivan)
- the company disembarks -
This happened a few times growing up. Maybe 5 or 6.
I never knew something until recently. My Mom wasn't just waiting around in the house, picking her nose and scrolling through social media. (Well, I guess that I actually knew that she wasn't doing that) She wasn't just "wasting time" like I sometimes thought.
She was acting. She was helping. She was doing.
To be clear: my Dad's sense of punctuality (which I have similarly developed) and my Mom's desire to make sure things are spick, span, and spot-cleaned are not incompatible. Like I mentioned before, they always work through everything with love and respect.
But I know that my Mom wants the best for us because she knows who we are, and who God is. She knew that X or Y had to be done, and that when we got home we wouldn't want to.
So she just, well, did it. And waiting around didn't make her or the people waiting in the car failures, either.
'Nuff said.
8. I mentioned failure on my mission as something that really worried me. One enormous source of strength was the set of emails that I received every week, particularly the ones from my Mom and Dad. Dad would give me advice, and Mom would, too - but she would include a bit of herself in each word.
I could feel like my Mom was right there beside me during my mission. I felt her prayers, and her love.
Faith burns failure up. So does love. I felt my Mother's love during my mission, and it helped me to serve others and change myself.
One of the greatest feelings of love that helped me overcome my fear was in the last week of my mission. I had served as honorably as I knew how, and many people were brought to Christ. However, like I mentioned, I also felt like I always could have done more, and that somehow my service was lacking something.
It began the last day of my regular missionary service, a Monday. I was walking down the street, and was nearly stopped cold by an overwhelming feeling of peace, of accomplishment. I had prayed for this peace all my mission, and I was feeling it then. I could feel my Heavenly Father's love for me, and I also knew that I would be able to see my temporal parents soon (as they came to pick me up).
The next day, the missionaries who had completed their missions attended the Temple with the Mission President. I knew that my parents would be there, but I didn't see them when the session began. However, I saw that they were waiting for me in the Celestial Room.
Just imagine this picture, all in white, and you might know what I mean:
That was love. I felt their absolute love for me, that they were pleased with what I had done, and that failure should not be a word in my vocabulary anymore.
That experience was singular for me, and I'm sure it was for them as well. I knew then as I know now that love for one another can destroy any feelings of failure we may have.
7. My family has 7 people on Earth, but 8 in total when you count my sister, Emily.
My mother was sad, but, as I've spoken about this with her I can feel of her absolutely certainty that everything will work out in the end.
Most would have crumbled, but not my Mom. She stayed close to the Lord, even when everything seemed lost, and there was nothing that she could do about it. And I cannot overemphasize how incredible that is.
To Mom, and to Emily :)
6. Growing up, I doubted myself a lot and struggled with self-esteem. I thought that I was cool if I could do cool things, or be funny, or be better at something than someone else. In spite of my façade, though, I was weaker than I let on and I needed validation.
My Mom always gives me that validation. She even recognizes her bias as she does it :) She'll listen to me - really listen - and given careful, thoughtful advice every time I need it.
I've sometimes felt that coming to college I only call my Mom to complain, or when I'm having a bad day. But regardless of why I call, she is always there to answer and to strengthen me.
Also, she remains to this day the only person I can really watch Napoleon Dynamite with.
Fabulous times. Talk about validation....gosh.
5. My Mom is a musician, and a performer. Really, my whole extended family is - on both sides. We're a performing family! Which I guess is why we've been dubbed the Von Browns in some circles.
Just look at this family (Clark is a nice addition). Just look at it.
Or, the extended family from that day.
Or this one.
That's a lot of talent. (And a lot of yellow)
And for years, I didn't want to practice the piano, or sing, or do anything in front of my Mom.
Mostly because I was intimidated. Also because why should she care if I amounted to anything? Why couldn't I just hide upstairs and play Final Fantasy all day yet? What if I was ok with mediocrity?
It was because my mom didn't put up with that junk. I talked about failure with Vocal Point in my last post, but it wouldn't even have been a remote possibility without the constant caretaking that my Mom maintained over our talents. She saw something in us that she knew would be great, and, even if we had to "fail" a bit later on, she still pushed us. How can I keep from singing now?
That's just it, I clearly can't.
Thanks for that, Mom.
(Oh, and the whole above section deals with the Eagle Scout thing, and the seminary thing. By the way)
Moral of the story: If you're doing good things, then you probably have an awesome Mom.
4. My Mom is a runner, though she hasn't always been. She'll tell you that Karen Langford (whom we all love) got her into it, and she's right. But she's kept it up ever since and it's been a catalyst for triathlons and many races. Incredible, that in a few weeks I will join my Mom in the Spartan race in Hawaii (and I'm only doing it because she is). How awesome is she?
(so awesome, so awesome is the answer)
So? My Mom doesn't shy away from hard things. She has faith. She tackles them head-on.
Many people in the world (like me, sometimes) are wimps. We get into the comfort zone, and we stay there, because it's cushy and soft and blankets and chips and ahhhhhhhh...
...but you don't grow in the comfort zone.
My Mom is always growing. Not, not literally. But she didn't want her kids to be mediocre, and she implicitly commands more that mediocrity of those around her.
Tackling hard things like my Mom is a great way to get rid of fear. Even if we are weak at first, we will grow when we do them, every time (remember Ether 12:27).
Just remember:
3. My Mom is a bit crazy. Halloween is a great example of this.
You might not know it at first, but she is.
I just wish I had access to more pictures to show you.
Point is, sometimes you have to be crazy to overcome hard stuff. Sometimes being crazy is all you can do to push through and do good things.
Be crazy - be good crazy. Be crazy good.
Yeah. Like Mom.
2. My Mom prays.
I don't have a picture of my Mom praying, but my siblings can attest to her reeeeally looooong prayers when we were growing up. We would be kneeling on the hardwood floor, or on the upstairs balcony, or on the couches, and she would be talking to God while most of us (or maybe it was just me) was wondering when this General Conference prayer would end.
But prayer is a commandment. And my Mom gets that.
Because of her getting it, I have had countless experiences of coming closer to God through prayer. I have experienced miracles through prayer. I have found people in need and been able to help them because of it. I have received help through it. I have found peace from it.
And I remember her prayers most of all. Thank you, Mom, for your prayers.
1. My Mom smiles.
I used to think that my Mom didn't have another expression. People would say, "Your mom has such a pretty smile," and I would kind of just shrug it off, like 'that's all she ever does, geez...'
But it's not a bad thing, because it's probably the best smile I know of.
You see what I mean?
How can you be anything but happy by looking at this smile?
As you can see from the picture above, smiling - and the context of those smiles - brings joy.
Joy cannot exist without faith, and cannot exist with fear.
It doesn't need to be a long, complicated formula..
If you are afraid, smile, like my Mom does.
You won't need to be afraid, because things will be better.
Last, a quick thing. Over the years, I have seen my Mom interact with the world in a bubbly, natural, and Christlike way. I've wondered if it is real. I've wondered if she is real, and what I should do about it. I've wondered if I can live up to her standard.
She is real (she's my Mom, duh). What can I do about it? Do what she would do, which is trying to do what Christ would do. She laughs. She works hard. She has fun. She pushes herself, and lifts others.
I love my Mother. I am eternally grateful to her for the privilege of being raised by her and my father. They are my heroes, and my rocks. They love God. They are happy.
And I want to be with them forever.
Happy Birthday, Mom. You are loved...by everything. :)
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