Hi, uh, is this thing on? Sorry. So sorry.
This blog started with the intent to sharpen my skills as a writer, contribute something honest and thought-provoking to those who read it, and also foster an atmosphere of open, non-judgmental conversation between friends, colleagues, or even internet acquaintances.
I repeat: I WANT TO HEAR YOUR STUFF. TELL ME YOUR STUFF.
On that note, the topic of the day is one that has literally kept me up at night and distracted during the day. I have periodically stopped whatever I was doing to go on a walk and think about it, or discuss it with friends and family. And now I want to hear what you have to say about it.
The topic is altruism--or, as I will define it, actions or intentions that are purely holistic and not self-serving in any way; without any expectation for reciprocation or recognition.
I study psychology, and have given considerable thought to the subject. However, that doesn't make me an expert. Perhaps you are, though, and I'd like to hear your thoughts.
Riddle me this:
A man on a deserted country road (we'll call him the Mediocre Samaritan) sees someone who got jumped, and helps him out. He carries him to his house, takes care of him, and then escorts him home without expecting (or even desiring) a thank-you, money, etc. Good guy, right?
I hope you'll excuse my use (which was not intended to be disrespectful) of the Biblical story of the Good Samaritan, a story which I hold dear.
So: was this man acting altruistically? Did he act out of genuine concern for another--with no regard for himself--and should he be awarded the Bronze Medallion of Altruism? Or, is he depositing coins into his long-term Karma bank?
Another one:
Your mom--arguably the nicest and most wonderful person you know (I know that mine is)--approaches a crosswalk in a big city, and she's in a hurry. Before she begins to cross the street, however, she notices an old woman who apparently needs help crossing the street as well. So, in a crowded space, with many observers, your wonderful mother offers the old woman a smile, offers her help, and guides the woman across the street.
Altruism? Why, or why not?
Again--studying psychology has told me repeatedly that altruism cannot exist; that everything we do, from washing the dishes, to going to the bathroom, to smiling at the cashier at Wal Mart, has a self-serving purpose, whether we are implicitly or explicitly aware of it or not.
I have literally become so frustrated with this topic that I have almost shut down some days. I think to myself that, since it's impossible for me to really, really love someone else with no self-focused concerns, why bother at all? If everything I do is really selfish, then I should just forget about the whole idea and focus on me.
Right? Come on, guys! AAHHH, this is making me crazy! IT MUST NOT EXIST!!!TI#*&$T%(*^!%(
But then, there's another side of me--and of all of us, I believe. The side that loves and appreciates the story of the Good Samaritan. The side that has seen kind old men and women serve those around them with a smile. The side that has witnessed the "rougher" characters of society shedding their façades and surprising someone with love.
So what is to be done? Which side should we listen to? Does it exist, or not?
I had a thought early this Winter:
Maybe our definition of altruism is what is driving me so crazy.
Maybe expecting a "perfect" desire is a little unrealistic.
But maybe we can "tap into" altruism, by asking for it.
I've seen it, in myself and others. Sincere prayer, to whatever Deity you may or may not believe in. Wanting to love others. And then dropping our selfish desires to help others.
Regardless of whether altruism exists or not, I believe that it is possible to love others. I believe that we can be given it, especially if we ask for it. (watch out, here comes religion) I believe that we can ask God to bless us with love for others--and that He can and will answer that petition.
To wrap things up, I wrote a small poem to illustrate this idea:
Every
act, wh’er good or bad,
Has a purpose to be had.
Be the purpose good or
ill—
Depends upon the giver’s
will.
Help others. Be that Good Samaritan that you have seen, and maybe even been before. Be the good in the world that you so desperately crave.
And eat SO MUCH ice cream, because apparently it helps. This is science, people.
Have a nice day.
If you want to learn about more stuff, check out this link. If you want.
This is a very thought provoking post! And I can definitely see the conundrum this presents to a budding psychologist. I may not have an answer for you, but I do have another take. Maybe there is something we are leaving out of this whole picture. Here's a question...if God and Jesus claim to be 'one' and if we are all, physically and spiritually, a piece of them, then aren't we all connected to each other? Maybe we are selfish in our actions, but maybe reaching out to the helpless as a good Samaritan is just reaching out to ourselves in an abstract way. Maybe learning to love that rebellious child is just learning to love that own part in ourselves. Because really we're all connected, right? We are all a piece of the universe. I'm afraid I'm not skilled in articulating my thoughts, but just sit on that for a second. Just as we are a trillion celled organism, maybe we we are all a single cell contributing to a much bigger picture. So, helping someone else is for our own benefit. It is helping ourselves, in the end. But maybe that isn't such a tragedy?
ReplyDeleteWow, that's something I've never thought of before! And I agree with you and disagree--I think that it definitely isn't a tragedy that we maybe aren't (by our own definition, anyway) perfectly altruistic, but I disagree with your appraisal of your thought organization-looks great to me! :) Thanks, I'd love to talk to you about this sometime!
ReplyDeletemy thought. if christ is the most altruistic or perfect person, then altruism can br defined as the character of christ. elder bednar defined the character of christ as looking outward when the selfish natural man inside us would look inward. i just wanted to say then that the closest i see us coming to altruism is, like u said jacob, trying to love people enough that even when u are suffering, you can feel the suffering of others and act in their benefit and not your own. it takes so much of oneself to look out when one is suffering, that i think it is a great practice for an altruistuc character.
ReplyDeleteI agree completely with you, Megan--altruism can only really be accessed through Christ, or as you put it, through developing elements of His character. It's tough, but definitely worth it! Thanks for sharing your thoughts! :)
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ReplyDeletePMG 115 "Christlike attributes are gifts from God...Ask Heavenly Father to bless you with these attributes, you cannot develop them without his help."
ReplyDeleteBAM!
I liked your blog post.
I LOVE that part of PMG! Really wonderful!
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